Discussion:
OT: Jewish humor
(too old to reply)
NefeshBarYochai
2013-06-11 22:23:24 UTC
Permalink
On Mon, 10 Jun 2013 20:11:15 -0700 (PDT), SuRFer
A Jewish boy went to New York for a holiday. After a few weeks he called
his mother on the phone and said, "I have great news, mother, I have met
a beautiful girl and I am getting married!"
"Oy vey," his mother exclaimed, "I hope she's Jewish. What's her name?"
"Goldberg!" the boy told her.
"That's a wonderful Jewish name," his mother smiled, "What's her first
name?"
"Whoopi!" replied the boy.
What's the best thing that ever came out of Auschwitz?
The empty buses!
What do you call a Jewish faggot?
A heblew!
How do you say FUCK YOU in Jewish?
"Trust me!"
How do you say FUCK YOU, ARSEHOLE in Jewish?
"Trust me, my friend!"
Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
He came down the chimney and said, "Would you like to BUY some presents
kiddies?"
What's the difference between a circumcision and a crucifixion?
In a crucifixion they throw out the whole Jew!
Why are synagogues round?
So the Jews can't hide in the corner when the collection box comes round!
What do you call a Jewish woman's waterbed?
The Dead Sea!
How do you take a head count in Israel?
Roll a penny down the street!
What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe?
A canoe tips!
Why do Jews have long, thin pricks?
Because they are tight-fisted wankers!
What's the Jewish version of foreplay?
Half an hour of begging!
PDW
You are a scoundrel Mr. Wright.
Again?? There seems to be no boundaries to this guy's bigotry. He has
targeted blacks, gays, Asians, Polish people, Hispanics, women and
jews as the targets of his 'jokes'. The only thing that might cure his
hate-fueled humour is a lobotomy.
J Young
Honesty. Decency. Integrity
Maybe if he had a good piece of pussy. Nothin' like a good piece of
pussy, 'cept maybe the Indy 500

Marcus Aurelius
2013-06-12 01:42:25 UTC
Permalink
Lekh taaseh amidat yadaim al hagag, vetekhavan et hazain layareah
The Peeler
2018-07-07 03:32:28 UTC
Permalink
On Mon, 10 Jun 2013 20:11:15 -0700 (PDT), SuRFer
A Jewish boy went to New York for a holiday. After a few weeks he called
his mother on the phone and said, "I have great news, mother, I have met
a beautiful girl and I am getting married!"
"Oy vey," his mother exclaimed, "I hope she's Jewish. What's her name?"
"Goldberg!" the boy told her.
"That's a wonderful Jewish name," his mother smiled, "What's her first
name?"
"Whoopi!" replied the boy.
What's the best thing that ever came out of Auschwitz?
The empty buses!
What do you call a Jewish faggot?
A heblew!
How do you say FUCK YOU in Jewish?
"Trust me!"
How do you say FUCK YOU, ARSEHOLE in Jewish?
"Trust me, my friend!"
Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
He came down the chimney and said, "Would you like to BUY some presents
kiddies?"
What's the difference between a circumcision and a crucifixion?
In a crucifixion they throw out the whole Jew!
Why are synagogues round?
So the Jews can't hide in the corner when the collection box comes round!
What do you call a Jewish woman's waterbed?
The Dead Sea!
How do you take a head count in Israel?
Roll a penny down the street!
What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe?
A canoe tips!
Why do Jews have long, thin pricks?
Because they are tight-fisted wankers!
What's the Jewish version of foreplay?
Half an hour of begging!
PDW
You are a scoundrel Mr. Wright.
Again?? There seems to be no boundaries to this guy's bigotry. He has
targeted blacks, gays, Asians, Polish people, Hispanics, women and
jews as the targets of his 'jokes'. The only thing that might cure his
hate-fueled humour is a lobotomy.
tsk tsk tsk
The Peeler
2018-07-07 08:12:06 UTC
Permalink
On Fri, 06 Jul 2018 23:32:28 -0400, Loose Sphincter, the unhappily married
Post by The Peeler
Again?? There seems to be no boundaries to this guy's bigotry. He has
targeted blacks, gays, Asians, Polish people, Hispanics, women and
jews as the targets of his 'jokes'. The only thing that might cure his
hate-fueled humour is a lobotomy.
tsk tsk tsk
You felt personally addressed, Loose Sphincter? And you SHOULD!
--
Anti-virus firm AVG <***@avg.com> addressing Loose Sphincter on Usenet:

"Hello from AVG.

Please stop advertising us. We don't want to be associated with neo-Nazi
scum like you and RichA, no matter whether you use our product or not.

And fix your fucking sig separator!

Sincerely, AVG."
Truth and honesty
2018-07-10 01:27:30 UTC
Permalink
Post by The Peeler
On Fri, 06 Jul 2018 23:32:28 -0400, Loose Sphincter, the unhappily married
Post by The Peeler
Again?? There seems to be no boundaries to this guy's bigotry. He has
targeted blacks, gays, Asians, Polish people, Hispanics, women and
jews as the targets of his 'jokes'. The only thing that might cure his
hate-fueled humour is a lobotomy.
tsk tsk tsk
You felt personally addressed, Loose Sphincter? And you SHOULD!
That is not what he is saying "Peeler," I have noticed that English is not
your native tongue so you make these daft mistakes.
The Peeler
2018-07-10 08:31:55 UTC
Permalink
On Tue, 10 Jul 2018 11:27:30 +1000, not quite so smart Truth and honesty
Post by Truth and honesty
Post by The Peeler
Post by The Peeler
Again?? There seems to be no boundaries to this guy's bigotry. He has
targeted blacks, gays, Asians, Polish people, Hispanics, women and
jews as the targets of his 'jokes'. The only thing that might cure his
hate-fueled humour is a lobotomy.
tsk tsk tsk
You felt personally addressed, Loose Sphincter? And you SHOULD!
That is not what he is saying "Peeler," I have noticed that English is not
your native tongue so you make these daft mistakes.
Gee, how daft are YOU? You didn't even get what this was about! Moron!
Truth and honesty
2018-07-11 11:24:30 UTC
Permalink
Post by The Peeler
On Tue, 10 Jul 2018 11:27:30 +1000, not quite so smart Truth and honesty
Post by Truth and honesty
Post by The Peeler
Post by The Peeler
Again?? There seems to be no boundaries to this guy's bigotry. He has
targeted blacks, gays, Asians, Polish people, Hispanics, women and
jews as the targets of his 'jokes'. The only thing that might cure his
hate-fueled humour is a lobotomy.
tsk tsk tsk
You felt personally addressed, Loose Sphincter? And you SHOULD!
That is not what he is saying "Peeler," I have noticed that English is not
your native tongue so you make these daft mistakes.
Gee, how daft are YOU? You didn't even get what this was about! Moron!
There is no point in getting upset about your dreadful English. We all
understand that as its not your native tongue that it is not your fault it
is that awful.
The Peeler
2018-07-11 15:09:17 UTC
Permalink
Post by Truth and honesty
Post by The Peeler
Post by Truth and honesty
Post by The Peeler
You felt personally addressed, Loose Sphincter? And you SHOULD!
That is not what he is saying "Peeler," I have noticed that English is not
your native tongue so you make these daft mistakes.
Gee, how daft are YOU? You didn't even get what this was about! Moron!
There is no point in getting upset about your dreadful English. We all
understand that as its not your native tongue that it is not your fault it
is that awful.
You are so daft, you don't even understand who said what! And you do it time
and again! <tsk>

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